Useless Ass Blog

If you’ve ever been on vacation in Hawaii or the Caribbean, then you know how difficult it can be to bring a sea turtle home with you. Here are some great tips for navigating the airport and customs with a sea turtle so you don’t have to disappoint a loved one.

1. Preliminary Step - Acquire a Sea Turtle

The best way to acquire a sea turtle is to go on a sea turtle nesting watch tour, which will get you close enough to grab one. Make sure to ask your tour guide lots of important sea turtle questions, like “Is there a good way to know which turtle will be get along best with my dog? Where can I get a new shell if I think that the one it comes with is ugly or it doesn’t really match my decorating style?”

Read the rest of this article »

Friends are good to take with you to Canada. But they are are also lazy and might forget or not apply for their passports. Don’t let that stop the fun! Get your passportless friends into Canada with these GREAT tips!

Hide Them in Your Trunk

This is old school but it still works. Insist that they get in the trunk at the beginning of your trip to avoid suspicion, even if you’re many hours/days from the border.

Read the rest of this article »