The Easiest, Fastest, Least Expensive Ways to Groom Your Dog
If you’re strapped for cash or time, then dog grooming can find it’s way to the end of your errand list. Here are 3 totally painless and SUPER effective ways to get it done!
1. Use Febreeze
Febreeze is like a “Mexican Shower” for your furniture, so if your dog has dark colored fur and/or is sometimes used as an ottoman, then this is a great alternative to full-on bathings. If you’re fresh out of Febreeze, try giving your dog a quick rub-down with some dryer sheets like Bounce or try sprinkling him/her with a few packets of Splenda. Splenda doesn’t have any scent, but your dog will appreciate the sweetness, which will result in more frequent self-groomings.
2. Take Your Dog To Supercuts
Everyone knows that Supercuts is SUPER cheap, but did you ALSO know that they will cut your dog’s hair? Well… THEY WILL! Just play it cool and pretend like everything is normal – “Hi, Max needs a cut today. He had Sheila last time and he really liked her, so if she’s available that would be great.” And if they’re like “Um… we don’t cut dog hair”, then you can say “But, I have a coupon.”
Even if you don’t have a coupon, this will probably work because there are A TON of Supercuts coupons, and so they never know all of the available offers that are in circulation.
If they’re still being asses and are like “Sir, I’m sorry, but we only cut people hair”, then walk out, place your dog on your head, walk back in and be like “Hi, I was hoping you could squeeze me in for a haircut today?”
3. Train a Monkey To Clean Your Dog
This is almost too easy! Monkeys are excellent dog cleaners, so acquiring and training a monkey to clean your dog is a fast and effective shortcut. Make sure to monitor your monkey’s workmanship, because they will totally take shortcuts like using poo instead of conditioner – “You think I wouldn’t notice that Bobo? Start over, and this time, I want you to use very little to no poo.”
Do you think the Supercuts homepage makes it look a million times classier than it actually is? Let us know RIGHT NOW with a comment!
Photo Credit: [norbert]
Useless Ass Blog » If You Owe Any Monkeys an Apology… Now’s The Time said
am July 14 2008 @ 9:59 pm
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