Oops! 7 Dating Mistakes That Will Cost You Big Time
Some dating mistakes are impossible to recover from, especially for guys. Gentlemen, here are some ROCK SOLID tips on what to avoid doing on a date and the absolute best ways to do it.
1. Forgetting to Bring a Corsage
Your date may not say it, but she will be disappointed if you don’t bring her a corsage. If you forget, try and rig a corsage out of items on the floor of your car. With the right skills and an unwrapped Jolly Rancher, a dirty penny and a soccer sock, she will probably not be able to tell the difference.
2. Not Giving Her Time To Curtsy
A polite girl will curtsy to express her gratitude when you’ve been generous or have done something impressive. But you must wait a few seconds to allow this to happen or she will get upset. If you’re waiting and she forgets to curtsy, grab the back of her head and start pushing it downward to jump start the process. She may be mad at first, but will probably remember that she is the one who was rude and apologize.
If she is from Texas then she may do this really weird Texas-style curtsy and that is a signal that she wishes to mate with you and eat barbecue ribs. In no particular order.
3. Not Asserting Yourself
Girls are more comfortable with traditional gender roles, so not asserting yourself as an alpha male is a mistake. Begin making your mark as the date unfolds by demanding silence while you’re driving – “Shhh… I need you to be quiet while daddy is thinking.”
You can also ask her to do stuff by saying “Hey, be a doll and get me a…” followed by anything.
4. Drinking From a Juice Box
Even if you’re really really thirsty and you love apple juice, this is something you should avoid. It will be difficult for her to take you seriously and yearn to be dominated by you if you insist on drinking from a juice box. Capri Suns are somewhat “surfer cool” and although she will be impressed if you can puncture it with the straw on your first try, it is still risky because you will probably won’t be able to and will become embarrassed.
You should also avoid asking for a side of apple sauce to dip your entree into if you’re out to dinner, even if it tastes yucky or is too charred on the outside.
5. Forgetting to Grow a Mustache
Not having a mustache is risky in general, but it can really backfire on a date. With a mustache, you project the air of a policeman and a villain simultaneously, which is a one-two punch of irresistible manliness. You can also use your mustache to sweep up the bread crumbs on your dinner table, so you don’t have to have your dinner conversation interrupted by your waiter with that scraper tool.
6. Not Getting a Full Explanation of the Menu
Girls are impressed by a gentleman who can order for the table, so take control. But make sure you get a full explanation of the menu so you are not flying blind. If your waiter says “Hi, have you ever eaten with us before?”, then you should say “No, I haven’t and I’m having alot of trouble locating your jalepeno poppers on the menu.” This will signal to him that you are definitely in need of an in depth explanation.
7. Forgetting the Snacks
Girls enjoy snacking, so a gentleman should always carry a fine selection of snacks on his person. Wearing cargo pants is a good idea so that you can have multiple compartments for the various snacks – “I have olives and Wheat Thins on my right knee and the honey barbecue wings are down near my ankle.” Offer to feed the snacks to her. If she declines and says she wants to feed herself, ignore that and start feeding her anyway. She is probably just shy and will be glad that you anticipated her needs.
BONUS! 8. Failing to Stay Engaged in the Conversation
You must be an active participant in any conversation and listen attentively. If you feel like the conversation is becoming one-sided, find a way to let her know – “I feel bored right now. When can it be my turn to talk?” If you feel like that is too strong, then try approaching it in a more roundabout way – “Do you have any stories that are shorter and punchier? If so, now is the time for those.”
What are your biggest dating no-no’s? Can you get the Capri Sun straw in on the first shot? Please let us know… RIGHT NOW!
Photo Credit: [Walsh]
