The Warehouse Club MEGA Secrets That Costco, Sam’s and BJ’s Don’t Want You To Know!
Looking for some SUPER useful insider tips for getting WAAAY more out of your next warehouse club trip? Read on!
Inquire About the Trampoline
The trampoline is by far the COOLEST and most important thing you can buy at a warehouse club, so create buzz for yourself by loudly announcing that you want to purchase one – “I need someone to retrieve the trampoline from the wall please. Yep, thinking about buying the trampoline today.”
Demonstrate that you’re a serious buyer by asking “in the know” trampoline questions – “Is ‘vigorous’ a word that describes the level of boob jiggling experienced by girls who use this particular model? What amount of air should a bear expect to get if it falls onto it from a tree? Additionally, what are my chances for setting a world record if I use this model on a Japanese game show?”
Trust Your Instincts
At a warehouse club, shopping on instinct rather than from a list will ensure that none of the items in your cart are in any way related and that 90% of them are totally unnecessary. This is considered good form and may result in a nod of respect by the cashier as she scans your radial tires, followed by your 1000 ounce box of Lucky Charms.
Pace Yourself
Rushing to get your warehouse club shopping done will leave you with enough time in your day to complete other tasks which is not good. Instead, stay long enough for your entire family/group to become angry and begin yelling at each other. Then stay at least 2 more hours after that or until an adult in your group starts crying.
Be a Deal Maker
Portion sizes are HUGE at these stores, so maximize your savings (and FUN!) by asking people if they want to split stuff with you – “Hey, I’ll give you 2 handfuls of cat litter for 15 of your mini quiches. Here, just hold out your hands and I’ll pour you in.”
Some people may be hesitant to finalize a deal, but don’t give up! Follow them around the store until you get what you want – “What if I told you 7 pickles might mysteriously find their way into your purse? How do you feel about the kitty litter deal now?”
What are your favorite warehouse club quirks? Have you ever come close to buying the trampoline? Let us know!!
Photo Credit: [GodzillaRockit]
