Pack Yourself a Late 19th Century Factory Worker Lunch
Tired of that same old ham and cheese? Then why not tuck into something different and historical! These quick tips will have you making mincemeat out of your boring lunch routine… AND out of rancid meat and dried fruit by-products!!
1. Squallorly Approach
During the late 1800s, hygiene was just a quicker way of saying “Hello Jean!” So toss out your closed-minded ideas on food preparation safety and lets get pauper! Taking all of your meat out of the fridge/freezer and storing it in a cupboard a few days before your big lunch is a great way to kick things off.
Also, store your grains in the dirtiest garage trash can you’ve got. And don’t put a trash bag in the can first, cheater! If you’re low on grains, make sure you stock up. You’ll regret skimping on the carbs when your eyes start drooping during the 14th hour of your “manning the giant rusty saw blade” shift at the mill.
Not bathing for days before making the big lunch is a given, but for extra authenticity points, try to get urinated on by your neighbor or someone you trust. It might feel awkward asking, but if you explain to them what your doing and you refer to them as “gov’na”, you might be pleasantly surprised!!
2. Mayonnaise, Shoe Polish, What’s the Difference?
Ingredient substitution was waaaay more liberal back then. Need flour? Try sand. Need sand? Try textile factory ash. Need textile factory ash? Wipe it off a baby’s forehead! You get the idea. Have fun with it!
There are a million and one combinations of edible and not traditionally edible things that you can slap together for a tasty and historically accurate snack. Boiled shoe and parsnip stew. Stoned cabbage and gun powder tamales. Mule jerky sandwiches on wool. Whatever it is, remember to add a dash or 2 of stick-to-itiveness and working class gumption!
3. I Need a Transporter… For My Lunch
Nothing fancy here. Just wrap your lunch in a kerchief or a dried pig bladder and get goin’! Or just barehand ‘er. If you go that route, try not to smile too much when you’re driving to school or work with one hand on the wheel and the other one clutching your KICK-ASS late 19th century factory worker lunch!!!
4. Don’t Forget the Booze
Drinking at school or work is generally frowned upon. But learning about history and teaching it to those around you at school or work is generally celebrated, thus canceling out the negative.
So if some rulesy types get in your face about your tuck o’ gin, try educating them about what you’ve learned. They’ll appreciate that you went the distance and didn’t wuss out with a thermos full of apple juice with “gin” scribbled on the side. And you’ll appreciate it too.
Bon Appetite!
What’s your favorite century for food? Let us know, and maybe we’ll cover it next time!
[photo by CDR snapshots]
